31 August 2006

The Candy Man Can


Suddenly, Willy Wonka doesn't seem like such a nut. Seriously. Toured the Sweet's Candy factory (located in the industrial netherlands on the west side of SLC) tonight with some friends and comrades, along with my own personal entourage—Amy, the Wilson bros., Nate the Great, his newly impregnated wife and their li'l punk rock riot grrl, etc...

So here's the scoop. Candy makes people giddy. Did it to me. Did it to everyone in the group. I'm telling you, fresh chocolate-coated almonds, still-warm egg nog taffy, cinnamon bars, orange sticks... I couldn't stop sampling. And giggling. Who cares about diabetes? Obesity? Bring it on.

Rick Sweet (a fourth-generation candy genius) was a gracious host and a cooler-than-cool tour guide. I salute this family-run business. I applaud the 5.5 million pounds of sugar they have contracted for next year's candy production. And I certainly embrace the fact that they considered my scraggly soul patch worthy of a beard guard.

30 August 2006

Things Fall Apart


It's depressing. It's maddening. It's frightening. It's discouraging. It happens too frequently. All the time, really. I ought to fight it. I ought to be better than this. Really. I'm 30. I have a mortgage (two, actually). I commute. I'm making my way up a corporate ladder of sorts. I purchased a minivan. This is the problem. This is the center that will not hold.

It's been nearly 350 days since my last post.

This will not reoccur. This cannot continue. I will write. I will take a deep breath. I will push on. I will say no to the second half of my Philly cheesesteak. I will choose water. I will rise early. I will be someone different. Less judgmental. More friendly. Fitter. Happier. More productive.

I will try.

14 September 2005

Call me Mike…TeeVee

Once I can determine which shows will stick in my rotation, I'm sure the viewing time will drop dramatically, but right now I feel like a junkie. Or I guess, just a typical American. Don't we watch an average of 4 hours a day? If I don't watch out, I'll be right on track.

Anyway, this week's thoughts:

Prison Break - I'm giving it one more week. There's no hook and no excitement. Not to mention that the whole thing is beyond contrived. Anyway, this week's episode came in at a solid C+, par for the course.

Gilmore Girls - only caught a few minutes of the premiere but I've got it taped. From what I saw, Rori continues her slide into utter unlikability and Luke and Lorelai argue pointlessly a lot. I've got high hopes, but then again, I'm (apparently) a 14-year-old girl. More thoughts after I catch the whole thing.

Other than that, I did manage to see bits and pieces of Encino Man over the weekend. I think they were running it continuously on TNT (surprise, surprise). Anyway, my pal Speed and I probably watched that movie 75 times in high school and I still love it. I've gotta say that Brendan Fraser bottomed out once he started accepting roles that includes more than five lines (with words exceeding 2 syllables). He's fantastic as the hotshot caveman who wins over the school and saves the day. And Samwise Gamgee gets the girl. You know you're dealing with a classic when the final PROM scene involves a caveman-inspired line dance. Wow.

09 September 2005

And so it begins…


You could say that the Fall TV season unofficially officially began last night. While a couple shows have already started their run (Prison Break), the season premiere of the OC pretty much signals that it's time to start weeding through the garbage and pick a winner or two.

Here's my breakdown, quick-like.

New Shows I'm Excited About:

Uhmmmm…nothing really. Prison Break has been fairly mediocre and last night's premiere of Reunion was downright pitiful. If you're going to set an episode in 1986, your main characters shouldn't be sporting hairdos from 2005. Honestly. One fella even had a faux-hawk. And no one used the word "rad." A complete swing and miss.


Returning Shows I Wish Started Tonight:

LOST - duh.

The Office - as a massive fan of the British version, I never thought I'd accept the NBC attempt. But I caught some episodes over the summer and who knew…? They were hilarious. Newsflash! Steve Carell is funny! This show's gonna be a hit!

24 - but not 'til January.

the OC - yeah, so it was last night, but there's always something charming about this semi-guilty pleasure. Blah blah blah. If you really want to read about the OC, check this out. A startling, day-long back-and-forth between ESPN.com's Bill Simmons and Josh Schwartz (creator/writer/producer of the OC).

Gilmore Girls - I can't believe I actually just typed that. I'd better not say any more.

ALIAS - mainly so that I can make my final decision to shut the show down. Word is a couple younger agents will be taking over for Miss Bristow and that J-Garn's pregnancy will be written into the show. Ugh. Yuk. Gross. How did this happen? And Ben Affleck is the father? Really? I will now remove my fingernails and plunge my hands into a vat of lemon juice.

Arrested Development - no kidding?


Anyway.

Grades on last night's shows:

the OC = solid B

Reunion = D+

Maybe I'll do something like this every week. Maybe. I mean it's only been like 6 weeks since my last post. Yikes.

09 August 2005

Upon Further Review…


It's been nearly two weeks since Sufjan Stevens braved the sweat shop currently known as Lo-Fi Cafe in SLC (more on that later), and I think I'm finally ready to discuss the performance.

Usually, an introduction like that is cause for apprehension. In the case of Sufjan and his band of Illinoisemakers, however, it's simply an indication of their brilliance. For 12 days, I've been thinking through the show. Replaying it backward and forward in my memory. Waiting hopelessly for bootlegged tracks to appear on scattered blogs. Downloading the entire next-day show in Denver (welcometothem!dwest). Rewatching video footage from a show in San Francisco (youaintnopicasso). And, obviously, wishing I had tickets to any number of Sufjan's soldout shows--five of 'em!--in NYC later this month.

The truth is, I think Sufjan's live show has cured me of the obsession so well chronicled on this very blog (and by hundreds of other fanboys/girls on their respective webspots). Obsession has been replace with pure admiration. Sufjan Stevens is an artist. And that's the best I can probably do to review his act. So while I ramble on for a couple thousand words, just remember this: To call him a songwriter or a musician or a historian or a storyteller just doesn't cut it; Sufjan is an artist, period.

With the day-time, outdoor highs near 100°F, the crowd was already glistening by the time the doors opened an hour late. And when the smoke-and-shadows voiced Liz Janes hit the stage, the Lo-Fi Cafe was practically packed and humidity was climbing by the second. Lo-Fi is a dump. An out-and-out pig sty. It's small. It's shabby. And it lacks any form of ventilation. Two lonely ceiling fans fight the impossible multiplication of body heat and three-digit temps. Let's leave it at this: by the time Ms. Janes finished her five song set, she was soaked. And so was I. And not in a slightly-sexy, misted with a kiss of rain sort of way. We're talking just plain old sweaty. Somehow, Liz Janes delivered and soothed, closing with a mindboggling, ukulele-crushing version of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."

Following some mandatory gear shifts and some pleasant costume changes--you may or may not know that Sufjan and his crew sport blazing Illinois cheerleader outfits, men in tees and orange sweatpants, women in tees, orange skirts and navy leggings--astute fans could catch Sufjan and crew in the back corner of the venue, huddled and cheering. Sufjan Stevens and the Illinoisemakers were working themselves into a frenzy, bouncing and shaking their pompoms (yes, pompoms). In seconds, they stormed the stage and launched into the thematic "Fifty States Song" (you can hear a snippet at www.sufjan.com).

This all sounds too gimmicky, too press-hungry. But the thrill of Sufjan is his earnestness, his realism. Sufjan Stevens has not undertaken the fifty albums for fifty states as some sort of trick, but as a celebration of each piece of the Union. All you need is to hear Sufjan sing the beautifully harrowing "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." and you know that this is serious stuff. Recounting the horror of serial killings, Sufjan employs a falsetto that simply cannot be described. His final declaration, "and on my best behavior/I am really just like him" had me proclaiming that it was sweat rolling down my cheekÂ…and hoping that standers-by would believe it.

And did I mention the intermittent cheers? Raising pompoms and sporting well-choreographed hand signals, the Illinoisemakers spouted literate shout-outs in relation to a number of songs. The prize-winner: Metropolis, in which Sufjan managed to include references to Balki Bartokomous (Bronson Pinchot's character from "Perfect Strangers") and Webster Papadapolis (Emmanuel Lewis's character from "Webster"). Outstanding.

So when Suf and the eight-strong symphonic players launched into Come on Feel the Illinoise (the album's title track), I could hardly contain my awe. Sufjan explored the piano--nearly matching the Stevie-Wonder-esque chops he showcased on "They Are Night Zombies!!"--while others contributed by trumpet, guitars, percussion, banjo, and vibraphone. Vocally, all but the redheaded drummer chimed in, delivering harmonies Brian Wilson would certify. By the time the song hit the Cure-inspired midpoint, jaws were dropping. Even in the 110-degree/95%-humidity conditions, there was no stopping the Illini gala. Sufjan whisper-sang of Carl Sandburg's ghost and the musicians abated, isolating their frontman with their absence. With just slight backing from the drum kit and the occasional flourish elsewhere, Sufjan delivered and repeated Sandburg's pointed, dreamy supplication: "Are you writing from the heart?"

It's a question Sufjan doesn't take lightly. Every word is considered, re-considered and ultimately placed for maximum impact. Stevens' training as a fiction writer is both apparent and appreciated. In interviews, he has proclaimed his un-rockstar-like affinity for the workshop process. This is a man who recognizes the necessity of revision, and his songs are a reflection of his devotion.

Following the closing bars of "Come onÂ…", I just couldn't help it. At the quietest (and sweatiest) moment, I spoke everything I could muster. I uttered the words that wouldn't leave my head. As Sufjan moved from keyboard to guitar, I stared him down and said "WOW!" And I said it loud. And everyone agreed. This was music. This was art. This was performance. In response, one of the female Illinoisemakers looked up toward me and yelled back "And I'm doing this in leggings!" And she couldn't have been more correct. Not ironic leggings. Not funny leggings. But real live, honest-to-goodness cheerleader leggings. No one sweats like that for a laugh.

For some, Sufjan's appearance may have been little more than a sweaty ode to Illinois, but for those who cared to listen between the ting of the triangle and the pluck of the banjo, there was more at stake. While Sufjan Stevens exposes and extolls the treasures of statehood, while he revels in history and coincidence, he becomes the very thing he celebratesÂ…the pure essence of identity, the defining moments of a landscape. It sounds hyperbolic, but Sufjan Stevens is America. And in Salt Lake City, he was everything we could ask for. Even a brief savior from an unrelenting heat.

22 July 2005

Defeat on the Heels of Victory

I actually invited Sufjan Stevens to lunch. Here's my exact request to the folks at his record label (asthmatic kitty) in Wyoming (Wyoming?! People record and distribute music in Wyoming?!):

So this may sound strange… oh well.

I know he's fairly busy these days, but could you ask Sufjan if he's
got the time and/or inclination to have lunch on July 28th in SLC?
I'll pay for the sandwiches and kettle chips. And there's even some
legitimacy to my request:

My friend (and co-worker) Dainon is a bona-fide rock writer and, well,
he'd be happy to scribble a few notes on a napkin and turn the whole
lunch experience into real, live online documentation.

You could even come along as well. SLC's not far from Wyoming and I'll
spring for sammiches and chips for the whole gang.

Anyway. Thanks for at least entertaining the notion.

-matt.


The response (surprising unaccompanied by a restraining order):

Hi Matt,

Thank you very much for your request. As it is, Sufjan's schedule is
extremely tight - Boise, Salt Lake City and Denver on 3 consecutive days -
we are sorry to have to tell you that your proposal won't be realizeable.
Thank you for the invitation,

Best,

Karin


Anyway. I think that has ended my creepy obsession and now maybe I can rectify the punishment I have inflicted on all four of my readers. No more Sufjan blogs (except maybe one post-concert write-up) from here on out.

I working on something good. Resurrecting old emails from my days at the FRED that need further exploration. Things like "Who are the ugliest basketball players of the last 25 years?" or "Top 5 Songs that feature prominent whistling." Brace yourself. I think I'm in recovery.

12 July 2005

I WIN! I WIN!

It's gonna be hard to believe, but I won. I have battled the mighty insurance monsters and escaped with a narrow victory. I am Brad Pitt in The Mexican. I have brutalized the brutes! Bruce from SelectQuote called last night and it's official: I AM A NON-SMOKER! I can't believe it either. Now I have to give up my pack-a-day habit? Seriously? I had gracefully accepted the smoker lifestyle. I'd started hanging out on the apartment porch and smoking while I tipped back Diet Pepsi's and talked endlessly on the phone. (I learned it all from the more-than-slightly overweight woman with an upstairs apartment near our parking space). I'd even entertained the idea of storing a month's worth of trash out on the balcony to keep me company. Sadly, I had drawn the line at letting our li'l one maintain a diaper-only wardrobe. I guess my commitment wasn't as deep as I'd liked it to be.

At any rate, I'm still in shock over the victory. This never happens. I am ERIN BROCKOVICH! (SOMEONE CORRECT MY SPELLING!) I CAN'T STOP USING CAPS LOCK! WHY AM I SHOUTING?

So now I begin the steady process of quitting. And have you seen the price of those NicoDerm patches? Seriously. At least I've got the low life insurance premiums to ease me through the withdrawals.

11 July 2005

Liner Notes and Pronunciations…What Else?

Obviously, I've got a problem. "Come on, Feel the Illinoise" arrived on Thursday and I've been reading liner notes like a 12-year-old girl. Not that there's anything wrong with that…

Anyway, Sufjan's a genius and I have officially (I think) crossed the line between casual fandom and creepy obsession. I'm seriously planning out my email to his record label to ask if he'll have a sammich and some kettle chips with me on July 28th before his show at the Lo-Fi Cafe. I oughta just do everyone a favor and rename this blog "I [heart] Sufjan."

In other news, the pronunciation of his name is still up for debate. The latest (and most definitive) version is SOOF-yan. So that's the one I'm going with for now. At least until I read something else.

And by the way…the album's still fantastic and someone'd better pry it outta my cd player and delete it from my iTunes before it becomes absolutely hardwired into my brain.

01 July 2005

Feel It! Feel It!


The official title of Sufjan Stevens' new album--"Come on Feel the Illinoise"--may be one of the best album titles in years. Anyway, I'll keep my crushing admiration for Sufjan short this morning, but you can listen to the new album here. It's beyond fantastic and I'm thinking about buying a copy for everyone I know. It's one of those albums. You wanna give and give and give some more. That's all. Listen online. Pre-order here. Feel the Illinoise.

Cheekie Monkeys

This post is a li'l late, since it's been nearly two weeks since the miraculous gathering of the Cheekies. If you're a casual reader--someone outside of my immediate circle--this probably means nothing to you. Feel free to move on to other pursuits. But seeing a rather large gathering of old college friends can be a wonderful and slightly bizarre thing. People are the same but different. Kids roam the grass. But the barbecued turkey (try it!) is still fantastic. The stories are unequaled. And I can't stop wishing I was 21, foolish, and undeservingly blessed with a tribe of like-minded comrades again. At any rate, it was too short and I can't shake the dreams of an FLS reunion tour.

20 June 2005

Soo-faan!

I'm a firm believer that you only get so many exclamation points in your lifetime. If you're careless and use them excessively, odds are you're gonna die young. But Sufjan (soo-faan) Stevens' new album, Illinois, deserves every superlative I can muster.

Thanks to D. (the full-blown rock critic), I got my sweaty li'l hands on an advance copy of Illinois and I haven't been able to keep it outta my ears. I'm becoming a li'l obsessed and I may or may not have asked D. to work his connections to arrange a one-on-one meeting. Embarrassing, I know. But after reading Sufjan's fantastic Pitchfork interview, I'd like to buy the guy a sandwich and some kettle chips.

If you're not familiar with Sufjan's work, check it out. Suf's a tale-weaving musical mastermind and Illinois is nothing short of spectacular. I'm sure I'll have more to say about the album in coming weeks. I may even attempt a real-live album review, with scaled stars, directional thumbs, percentage points and everything. For now, lemme just say that I've already pre-ordered my official copy of the album and it'd better include some serious liner notes.

With Michigan already under his belt, Illinois gives Sufjan #2 in his quest to craft an album for each of the 50 states. It's an ambitious project, but I've no doubt that he's capable. The only question is whether Utah will merit full LP status or will be hopelessly relegated to a four-song EP.

Just Call Me Big Papa

In response to the last posting, C. advised me that I should get L. (my son) to call me "Big Poppa (Papa)" a la Notorious B.I.G. I really have no idea what this means. I understand the Biggie Smalls reference, but does this mean my "weight problem" is now a full-blow catastrophe? Is it time for drastic measures? No more late night ice cream? No more Double Stuf Oreos? Time to count calories and carbs like a neurotic diet freak? All I know is that I went to the gym this morning and I'm doing my best to avoid any more comparisons to dead overweight rappers.

19 June 2005

Papa

I'm not sure how it happened but my son has always called me "papa." So to hear him say (in the garbled pronunciation of a 2-year-old), "happy father's day!" is kind of funny. He should probably say "happy papa's day," but I'm not complaining.

It's going to be easy for this post to slip into cliché and sentiment, so I'll try and keep things straight for all 7 of you who read this. Today, this is my thought: Dads have never been more important. In no way does this statement discount the role of a mother, but fathers provide an intangible stability to a family. Or at least they should. I'm working at it as best I can, and I can only hope to one day equal the power of my dad. I'm fully convinced that any and every success of my life is a direct result of my father's commitment to our family. His sacrifice (continual) and strength (superhuman) provide an essential blueprint as I try to figure things out for my own li'l familial unit. Before I let this turn into some sort of essay, I'll just say this: I love my dad, and I have always known that he loves me…and my life has been wonderful because of it.

15 June 2005

for the record…

I saw my mom this weekend and she kindly corrected my Mother's Day blog. She demanded--okay, it was a mild suggestion--that I issue one small clarification: My mother is not, nor never has been crazy. Furthermore, she has never stated that having eight kids was a crazy thing to do. Call it hyperbole or just plain b.s., but I thought my version of things was much more entertaining. After all, most moms have gotta be a li'l crazy to put up with the likes of each of us.

Anyway. Just another quick note: I may have a lead on an early copy of Sufjan Stevens' new Illinois album. And, no, I couldn't be more excited about this. I love the Sufjan and I may even have found a definitive pronunciation of his name (soo-faan; thanks D), which makes my enjoyment all the more complete.

08 June 2005

A Cautionary Tale

Saturday night I caught about 40 minutes of a Shakira video retrospective on Galavision (don't ask…the spanish-language channels always seem to suck me in). The production value was horrible and I only understood about 65% of what was going on--which is terrible considering I lived in Guatemala for two years and used to speak and understand Spanish without much trouble at all. Still, the program was fascinating. Showcasing interview clips and relying primarily on music videos from Shakira's early albums, the program shocked me.

I used to enjoy Shakira. In her Spanish-only days, she was intriguing for a number of reasons: 1) she's from Colombia, but her father is American-born and her mother is Lebanese; 2) her music is best classified as electro-acoustic-dance-pop-rock with Middle Eastern flair and TexMex influence; 3) her hips move in an unlawful manner; and 4) her voice. For the most part, her first major label albums (Pies Descalzos and Donde Estan Los Ladrones) were mashups of the above mentioned styles. A li'l chaotic, but all sorts of fun. And her MTV Unplugged set is a borderline buy-it-for-all-your-friends album--heavy on the horns and chock full of Shakira goodness.

Alas, Shakira had more on her mind than a conquest of Latin America. She wanted the adoration of millions of moronic U.S. fans. So she did the only logical thing. She wrote and recorded horrible songs in English, and she started wearing less clothing. I guess it's inevitable, but that doesn't make it less tragic. Shakira's Laundry Service sold a bazillion copies and now she's releasing a Spanish-language album this month, to be followed by another English bomb this fall. I'm sure you'll be seeing a barely-clothed Shakira shaking everything she's got across every channel in your TV Guide. So brace yourself. But if you're feeling brave and you'd like to know how truly disturbing Shakira's fall (or ascension, if you're her manager or accountant) really is…snoop around and find some of her old videos. They're fabulous and they hint at everything Shakira could have become, but rejected.